Remembering and Memory

I admit it. I am terrible at remembering names, and as I get older, I have trouble remembering faces too. It's a challenge, but I refuse to let negative thoughts create neuropathways.

I practice affirmations to reinforce a positive mindset: "I have a great memory, I remember details, names, and people." This affirmation has become a mantra, and I believe it has a subtle power.

One trick I use to remember something, like a list, is to squeeze my hand and repeat the items to myself five times. It might sound simple, but it's surprisingly effective. I also focus on keeping my brain active with supplements, healthy food, and exercise. When it comes to names, I have a little ritual.

For instance, if I meet someone named Joe, I might say, "Hi Joe, it's nice to meet you Joe. Oh, you are a financial planner, Joe? What do you like most about being a financial planner, Joe? That is interesting, Joe." Repeating the name in sentences helps cement it in my mind.

I once received a useful tip from Mike, a volunteer with Access Surf. He suggested imagining the person with the same name as someone you already know, placing the new person on the back of the person you know. For names that don't have a match in my memory bank, I think of an object and place the new person on that object. It's a quirky method, but it works.

Over the years of struggling with names, I've developed a new technique. When I meet someone, I try to feel their being, their "mana"—the Hawaiian word for spirit. I still use my five-sentence repetition, but now I add a breath after saying their name, trying to imprint their essence in my heart. At the end of the day, I recall the people I've met in my prayers, reinforcing those connections.

I've learned it's okay to forget, especially when we don't see someone often. The key is to forgive ourselves and handle the situation gracefully. Instead of saying, "My memory is not what it used to be," I now say, "Remind me your name again," or "Can I have your business card again?" It's a subtle shift, but it makes a difference.

What I would really love to say is, "We met once, and I felt your spirit. Does your spirit have a name?" It's a poetic way of acknowledging that while I might forget the details, I remember the essence of our connection.

In the end, memory and communication are deeply intertwined in my life. By using these techniques and embracing a positive mindset, I’ve found ways to improve my recall and deepen my connections with others.

Remembering names and faces is more than a mental exercise; it's a way to honor the people we meet, acknowledging their presence and spirit in our lives.