Workplace Negativity Nearly Broke Me—Here’s What I Learned

Toxic workplaces, much like toxic relationships, are hard to endure. You feel the heaviness in the air, the undercurrent of negativity, but sometimes you don’t realize how deep it goes until you’re caught up in it yourself. I remember back in my earlier career, I was complicit in these environments without even knowing it. I was young, naïve, and eager to stay out of any drama. There were always whispers about the “bad boss” or coworkers who gossiped endlessly about each other. I kept my head down and stayed away from those conversations, telling myself it wasn’t my problem. But it was, in its own way.

Then one day, it happened to me. I was isolated in my role as a director, feeling like an outsider, not quite fitting into the office culture. I couldn't shake the feeling that people were talking about me behind my back. It left me wondering: "How did I get here?" I had been focused on my work, trying to do my job well, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling of being excluded. I didn’t feel part of the team. The realization hit me hard. I wasn’t the only one who had experienced this—it was happening to others as well—but I felt stuck. I didn’t have the tools or the confidence to navigate this.

Looking back, I wonder what I could have done differently. What if I had spoken up? What if I had written that email, expressing my unease about the interactions between staff and myself? Would I have been receptive to feedback about being more collaborative or helpful to other departments? Would I have set boundaries when necessary? The truth is, I didn’t know how to communicate effectively or how to be an active listener back then. It was a turning point in my life, and it ultimately led me to become an Organizational Peace Specialist.

I pursued knowledge, determined to learn how to create harmonious interactions in the workplace. I wanted to understand how I could help others avoid the same struggles I went through. But even after all the training and coaching, I’ve learned that it doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes the coaching doesn’t take, and sometimes the person being coached doesn’t quite grasp the full picture. Yet, when it works, the transformation can be profound. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve witnessed individuals become more self-aware, more self-forgiving, and ultimately better for it.

What’s even more humbling is when the lessons I teach come back to me. My own family members, who have experienced my coaching, have used those same tools on me—turning the training around and helping me learn and grow in unexpected ways. It’s a reminder that we never stop learning, even in the most difficult situations.

So, I ask you: What was your big “aha” moment, or series of moments, that led to where you are today?